External Changes

Week 12 and I think I am starting to show a little bit! As excited as I am,  I am weirdly self-conscious of my changing body. I’ve always tried to stay in shape and avoid having the dreaded ‘pooch’ belly but now it is always there! I know that this is all normal and it is the magic of having an entire universe growing in your belly, but it is still going to take some getting used to.  I am still trying to wrap my head around all of this and full embrace all the changes, it might just take me some time.

Last night, someone asked me if i was pregnant. I was so caught off guard and was instantly offended, like ‘how dare you assume that!” Is it just me or is it rude to ask someone that ? Especially if you are unsure AND if the person is only 12 weeks!!! It made me uncomfortable and angry. But why? I mean, I am pregnant after all.

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It’s very strange to me. It is weird to not recognize your body. To have no control over the changes. To not feel like yourself. But this self, is only the surface level of who I am. The essence of my being and everything that makes me, ME, is on the inside.  No external changes, will every change that.

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“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live thru you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come.”  -Rumi


2 thoughts on “External Changes

  1. I was overweight before getting pregnant, so didn’t show properly until I was well into my 2nd trimester. But it didn’t make the physical changes any easier. I think what’s hard is (like you’ve said) the lack of control we have over the changes. We cannot slow them or stop them – our bodies change when and as they please. At least when my body changed before pregnancy I knew it was my fault, and that I could do (and should have done) things about it. I’m due this week and I still get upset looking in the mirror sometimes – some of the changes were completely unexpected! Anyway, thanks for following me, I’m enjoying following your journey so far! 🙂

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