Yesterday, I sprung out of bed at 5:30am, made breakfast for both Tom and I, and couldn’t wait to do my daily walk on the beach. I was out of the house by 7:15 and began walking. After a half hour, I stopped, did a meditation, turned around and walked the half hour back. With energy to burn, I went to swim laps in the river. I came home, showered, did 45 mins of yoga and then had a solo dance party for about 30 minutes. I felt amazing. My energy was through the roof.
Moving felt amazing. Dancing and walking and swimming and stretching. Everything felt good.
I cleaned the house, cooked, called various real estate agents about houses we are looking to rent, did research, spoke with my landlord, booked an ultrasound appointment..and the list goes on. When Tom got home, we went and listened to a band and went for a swim. The day felt so long. But so good.
Today was much different. I struggled to get out of bed at 5:30am. Ate breakfast, looked at garbage on the internet, and didn’t leave the house until about 8:30. I took a 40 min walk (which seemed much longer than usual) and then decided to swim a few laps.
The morning started off good but I had peaked, early. I got home and just wanted to lay down, so I did.
I’m tired now. My energy is low. And all I want to do is nap.
I put on upbeat music, but nothing changes this urge to lay down. So I do. I listen to my body and just relax.
It’s hard for me sometimes to just be lazy. I feel like I need to do something, or be somewhere, or accomplish something. Just sitting around in my underwear isn’t filling that need. I feel guilty, doing nothing while Tom is hard at work, supporting us. He’s amazing. It isn’t easy for me to be out of work, but it must be even harder for him.
I start to think though. Just RELAX. Enjoy this. Enjoy these moments of quiet and calm. They won’t last forever. Once the baby is here, I’m sure there won’t be too many more of these. Embrace it.
So I am. I’m sitting in my undies. Watching stupid movies. Stuffing my face with salt and vinegar chips. And life is good.