Throughout this pregnancy, I have spent most of my days alone (not counting the little human growing in my belly). Although occasionally I have an off day where I can go a bit crazy, most of the time I love my independence. I think that it is really important to be okay with being alone. It makes you face some realities about yourself, allows you to figure out how you truly feel about things, and gives you amazing clarity and room to think.
Not working, has been a big challenge for me. I have always been a hard worker since I was first able to babysit at the age of about 14. Since then, I have always held all different jobs and worked crazy hours. Not working can get pretty boring. You really realize how long a day can be. I’m not complaining though. I feel like if there was ever a time in my life to take time for me and just relax, it is now. It is while I am creating a new life. This freedom has allowed me to be calm and accepting and truly in tune with how my body is feeling. When Im tired, I sleep. When I’m hungry, I eat. When I have energy, I walk or swim or do yoga (or all three!).
I know how lucky I am that I am able to fully enjoy this pregnancy, without the stress of a job. If I didn’t have such an amazing partner supporting me, this would not be possible. Of course, I have looked for jobs and tried hard to find activities to fill my days, the reality is, I’m 6 months pregnant. It’s not to easy to get a job when they know you will be leaving in a few short months.
When we returned from traveling, I did not have working rights in Australia for the first 3 months. I pretty much got pregnant straight away, so by the time I was able to get a job, I was already 3 months along. Being an honest person, any job I applied for, I felt obligated to tell them about my pregnancy, which quickly lead to “We’ll let you know if you got the job or not,” which always meant NO.
Although it was tough at first, I have now tried to relax into this lifestyle and realize that this is the last time, for a long time, that my life will be so simple and quiet. Once the baby comes, it is no longer all about me and Tom. I am excited for this new chapter of life, but realize that I am saying goodbye to some of my old ways.
For right now, I’m going to continue writing (which helps to keep my sanity), relaxing and being free. Going with the day-to-day flow of my body and mind and watching life unfold before my eyes.
I am so grateful for this time. For this life. For my new little family. For my mental clarity. For my changing body. For my ability to be. To feel. To breathe. And to realize that this is all temporary. Enjoy it. Do not waste it.